Gender Blender

I don’t get it.

I have heard much about “non-binary gender”, “gender fluidity” and “gender dysphoria”. Each time I see or hear something about the subject, I try to understand it...and come up empty.

Now before you brand me as a hater, let me try to dispel that notion. I am willing to accept and respect anyone willing to grant me the same courtesy. For someone to live a lie, just because it’s what others expect of them, is a sin of the first order. I am a firm believer that people should be themselves, whoever that might be. The “problem” is not that people are this way, it’s my inability to relate - and I’m working on that.

I like seeing paradigms challenged. Any time my preconceived notions are questioned, I find it kind of refreshing to ask myself “...yeah, why is that?” More often than not the answer is “...well, I don’t know, you just do...” because there is no real reason! Doing something “just because we’ve always done it that way“ or “because everyone else does” is stupid.

For me, the first step toward understanding something new to me is to relate it to something I do understand. When I look at same-sex relationships, while I may not understand the attraction -in the same way I don’t understand how people can like chick peas - I do understand that it’s a relationship, with all that entails. “Oh, it’s a relationship! I know what those are! I’ve had them!” So for me the first step was to try and think of a time when I felt like maybe I was someone else or not a guy-type person...and I came up empty. My immediate, visceral response was “I am a man”. There was no ambiguity there.

I have never been one to subscribe to established gender roles. The idea that people are not allowed to (or are unable to) do something just because of their gender, is beyond stupid. The idea that somethings are “manly” and others are not is just plain dumb. I have often shook my head at the idea that because I am a male person, I’m supposed to like monster trucks and fishin’ and football...or whatever. I don’t, but it’s never made me question who I am. If that’s what “the rules” say I’m supposed to like and I don’t, then the rules are fucked up, not me!

Like Popeye, “I yam what I yam”, rules and labels and convention be damned.

...which is what I suppose someone of “non traditional” gender might be inclined to say.

Hmm....maybe I just learned something.