Monday, August 16, 2010

The Death of Civility

Lately, I've been wondering about the rudeness and inconsiderate behavior I see all around me.

My first thought was "Am I just getting old?" Well I am, and I wondered if I am now going through what every generation goes through as things change around them. " "Kids these days....."

To a degree, that may be true, but it's not exclusively in young people that I see it. It seems to span all generations and socioeconomic demographics. There are polite young people and rude older folks and vice-versa.

Now, I'm not advocating a return to the rigid rules of etiquette of the nineteenth century -or any other time where the interaction between people was framed by class distinctions. What I'm bemoaning the apparent death of is what used to be called "common courtesy". Holding a door for someone behind you. Leaving a gap between you and the car ahead of you at the stoplight to allow someone to pull out of a parking lot. Acknowledging the people who wait on you in restaurants or cash you out at the store.

"So what"? "Who cares?" On the face of it, it seems trivial, but what really disturbs me is what it implies. "You don't exist - it's all about ME".

This petty selfishness is spiral in nature - from letting a door go in someone's face it's not that big a step to road rage and worse.

This lack of respect and awareness of the others around you seems to be growing and seems to be related to population density.

When I go up north to camp, I'm always pleasantly surprised by how friendly and polite people are, how unhurried they are. The larger the municipality the more this goes the other way. Walk past someone in New York City, on fire, and they won't even notice.

As melodramatic as it sounds, is there really much hope, when we can't even be civil to our neighbors - much less someone halfway around the world, with a different language and culture?

For a few moments after 9/11, I saw people actually acknowledge each other, and show a little respect.

That didn't last too long.

So maybe there is something to it and I'm not just getting old and crochety.

Now get off my lawn.