Honor....Where's it gone?

"Honor is a gift a man gives to himself" - Rob Roy.

I was talking to a co-worker today - he was telling me about his family and personal issues that were sort of piling up on him at the moment. He tried to apply for Family Leave, but was told he'd used it up when he was out on disability for a torn rotator cuff. He asked how then, could some of the other employees get Family Leave - on multiple occasions- when their grounds for taking it were far less solid than his. He said he was told - by someone in authority - "Oh, well, you have to learn to play the game".

This incensed him - and to tell the truth, me as well. "Play the game? Play the game???" he said. Here he was trying to do things the right way and getting slapped down for it, while others, who were less-than-honest were getting away with something, because they knew how to "play the game".

He and I are not just co-workers. We share Italian ancestry and both grew up in a small, predominantly Italian town. I know from whence his indignation comes.

Back in the day.....

When we were growing up, there were two things that were pretty much written in stone: "Don't rat anyone out" and "Your word means everything". The first was a low rent version of "Omerta", I suppose, but the second was a very old-fashioned version of a code of honor.

It was completely inconceivable to go back on your word. Business deals were done with a handshake.

When I was buying my first car, my boss went to the bank with me (this was before they handed out loans like popcorn), lied about how long I'd been working there, and co-signed my car loan. You can bet your ass, I was there at the bank on the day before the payment was due, every month. Even if I'd been in the hospital in a body cast, I'd have sold off one of my kidneys to make sure that loan got paid. You might as well have suggested I could carry the moon around in my pocket, as to suggest I default on that loan.

Screwing someone over just wasn't done - politics and "business" notwithstanding. An employer could be counted on to do the fair thing and an employee - if they were smart - wouldn't try to take advantage of an employer.

If you said you were going to do something, you did it. If you borrowed money, you paid it back - and not just because Giuseppe was going to come around asking which was your favorite kneecap. If someone did you a favor, you OWED them - and if they came around twenty years later to collect, you were still obligated to return the favor.

Not so, today. People make and break promises all the while. Hell, getting someone to even show up somewhere they said they'd be is a sketchy proposition. The workplace is the same: Having heard horror story after horror story about people collecting disability or compensation, were I to get injured at work, my first stop after the hospital would be a compensation lawyer.

Something has been lost.