My whole schtick here is me making fun of myself for being so.....ordinary but I realized the other day, that, no matter how white bread I am, I'm very different in some ways.
Cooking: I don't find cooking to be a chore - I actually enjoy it. The time and effort that it takes to make something to eat is NOT wasted, it's a chance to be creative and express yourself a little. Life is made up of little moments, and since eating is one of those things you kind of HAVE to do -until they perfect Soylent Green- why not enjoy it and enjoy the process? Most people I know tell me they "don't have time" to cook. Apparently they're in a hurry to go watch The Food Network. Guess I care too much about my family to say "Here, have some vaguely food-like substance from this shrink wrapped box. I slaved over it for at least a minute and a half..."
Pop culture: I had an epiphany in the grocery line the other day. As I stood there, I scanned the covers of the magazines and thought "Who the hell are these people and why do I CARE? The only one I knew was Angelina Jolie. Guess that makes me officially an Olde Pharte or a rube or uncultured or ... something... So they're movie/TV stars? So what? If *I* were to go out, get drunk, indulge in a smorgasbord of pharmaceuticals, wad my car up and get caught in a compromising position with a chicken, it wouldn't even make the back page of the local rag. So why do we care if Joe Oscarwinner does? Are people's lives so dull they have to live vicariously through celebrities? If they're heros, why do people take such an interest when they demonstrate that they are, in fact, mere mortals?
Sports: I'm sorry, I must have failed "Guy 101" because I couldn't care less about sports teams. I'm not taking anything away from their God (and Pfizer)- given talents, but I really have more important things to do with my time than watch someone else do something. I also never really understood getting all hot and bothered over a sports team just because, through an accident of geography, you happen to live near where they play.
Stuff: Yeah, I'm as guilty as the next guy about liking my toys - can't really throw too many stones when there's a $6000 bicycle in my basement - but so many people just have sooooo much... STUFF, just to have.... STUFF. Folks like them are the lifeblood of the economy I suppose, and God knows they're responsible for all those storage rental places that spring up like mushrooms after a rainstorm. Here's a sobering thought for all you pack rats who pride themselves on how much stuff they own: You don't really OWN anything. Don't believe me? Go to an estate sale. Aren't I just a ray of sunshine today?
Last but not least: TV: I admit it, I -brace yourself- don't watch TV........I'll give you a moment to collect yourself after that earth shattering revelation..... Why? you may ask. It's not that I'm a high-brow, snooty intellectual, it's just that 99.9% of what passes for entertainment is, well, CRAP. If I'm only given a finite number of hours on this planet, why would I want to spend any of them on something like American Idol ("The Favorite Show of Idle Americans"!) or "reality" TV. I have no argument with people who spend their time on that sort of thing - what I find sad is that they can't conceive of NOT watching TV. It amazes and saddens me, when I get looks of incredulity and "Well...what do you DO?.." in response to me saying I don't watch TV. My usual response is "All that stuff you say you'd LIKE to do, but don't have time for..." Apparently the human race existed in complete and utter darkness before about 1950.
Ok, Rant Off - back to white bread and mayonnaise posts for a while.
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2 comments:
And this is why YOU'RE the MAN!
I do watch television--but have wrestled, as of late, with the stranglehold it has on me. If I couldn't record Top Chef or Grey's Anatomy to watch later I'd ever view them.
As for the rest of the post--Amen! (and you know I mean that!)
OMG, I think I'm in love with you!
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