Monday, September 24, 2012

Battle of the Bands: Big Slyde vs Bruce Springsteen

Should be a no-brainer, right? I mean,  "The Boss" - multi Grammy award winner, international superstar and rock legend- should handily defeat a small, regional artist you've probably never heard of, right?

Not so fast there, Grasshopper- it's not that simple.

A couple of weeks back, we went to see The Man hisself. I'm not a huge Springsteen fan, but really respect the man and his work. Besides, how often does a legend of his status play anywhere near here? This I gotta' see. Two hundred bucks notwithstanding, off we went.

I have never been so disappointed in a concert in my life . (And hope to never be again.) 

Now I understand that with someone of his stature (as a musician, not his height ) there's a metric shit-ton of people who want to see him, and they want to try an accommodate as many of them as possible, which necessitates the scale of the event we went to. The problem then becomes that the scale of the show feeds on itself. A beast of that magnitude requires a small army to put on and careful scripting to control. In order for a show of that size to be financially feasible, it behooves them to play as many places as they can....and managers and accountants suck the life out of the music once again... That was the first -and biggest- disappointment of the whole evening: The whole show was just so fucking scripted. I half expected Bruce to say "It's great to be back in Name of City Here...." It was just so canned, without even a hint of spontenaiety. I hate to use the adjective "insincere" but it really fits.

The audience itself was about as artificial as the show. I think many of them were there because, "well, dammit, we used to go to concerts all the time, back in the day....." I think some were there just so they can tell everyone they went. Some were there because they're sheeple and it was "the thing to do" - like the lady helping her friend pick out a shirt at the t-shirt booth: "Get the one with the ass on it....that's the best album - the one with the ass on it..." (Born in the USA). I can't think of anything more shallow and stupid than choosing a musician based on how their ass looks on the album cover. BUT, there were hordes of them there, drinking $8 cups of fizzy yellow pisswater that were being pawned off as "beer" and shouting along at the appropriate moments in the songs. It felt likely Disneyworld, where everything is cut, dried and sanitized for your protection - where they even tell you where to stand to take your keepsake photos.

Speaking of the songs, they were pretty lackluster, too. They were about 1/3 of the way into "Darkness on the Edge of Town" before I even recognized it. I like remixes and alternate versions as much as the next guy, but man, that was lame.

Since there were so many people, the only way anyone apart from the handful of people way in front could see anything was via the ginormous TV screens that flanked the stage...which showed, well, mostly just Bruce. At one point, I heard a violin and thought I could see a woman playing one, but because I had to look where I was "told to look", I couldn't be sure.

We didn't even stay for the whole show. As we walked out, Della Rose said to me "We just paid $200 to watch TV...."

Fast forward three days, and we're at the Nelson Odeon to see Big Slyde

It was night-and-day different. 

Now, I realize it's not fair to compare a show at the "Endormo-dome*" to a small venue like the Odeon, but I tried to give Bruce the benefit of the doubt and asked myself: "Self, what if we'd seen that show in a small club? Would that have been better?" I think it would have been much better, but it still would have been like comparing Olive Garden to my grandmother's veal cutlets: industrialized, focus-group surveyed and portion controlled vs....I dunno, that intangible something that says "genuine", "done with care, especially for you".

With Bruce, it was, at best, a journey through songs we've heard a brazillian times. (I blame radio for this, not Bruce). With Big Slyde, it was an unfolding, a journey through new songs and sounds that I'd not heard before, along with a few surprises. (Anyone who can cover a Jackson Five song that I absolutely loathed as a kid and turn it into something that delighted me earns huge kudos from me).

At the Odeon, I could actually see the facial expressions of the performers, I could focus on an interesting element that I was hearing, even if it wasn't the "focal point" of the song. (Nattily-attired Christina Grant left me with a new-found respect for the cello). 

When Bruce breaks a guitar string, an anonymous guitar tech immediately hands him another guitar from the wings, all tuned and ready to go. When Mikey Portal broke a string, he soldiered on through the rest of the song, then changed it himself - while the rest of the band made spontaneous chit chat with the audience. Spontaneity! What a concept!

I'm sure Bruce has about eighteen wardrobe people to keep his Armani "work shirts" all cleaned and pressed, but I'd be willing to bet that the Stihl cap that Sven Curth (special guest of Big Slyde) was wearing was one he got when he bought the chain saw.

Bruce is always referred to as a "working man", but let's face it, when was the last time he actually worked? Don't get me wrong, what he does is hard work, but when was the last time he had to deal with an asshole for a boss? When was the last time he dragged himself out of bed to go to a job he hated, because he had no choice? He could retire tomorrow and not have to live on cat food. John Doan has a day job as a music teacher.

The audience was much different, too. Where the folks at Vernon Downs followed their cue cards and shouted along and fist-pumped at the appropriate moments, the stomping and clapping of the Odeon audience during the encore was completely genuine - prompting Hannah Doan to say "Yeah...if you could keep that up, that would be great..."

As someone who brews his own beer, makes most of his own food from scratch, from the best ingredients, I guess that being "real" is very important to me.

One of those two shows was much more real than the other, and I think we have a clear-cut winner.

....by a landslyde.....



*obligatory Spinal Tap reference